Rice

First written 7/8/2006

"RICE"

            One day, I was cooking sarsiado. My brother cooked the rice (he was 10 y/o then) He told me that when the first time he cooked the rice it was perfect and they ate it all. The second time he did, the water is lesser so it's not perfect. The third time which was that time, it was over-watered. He told me:

            "I will never cook rice again."

            He got pissed off. Because he's a perfectionist, I told him:

            Life is like cooking rice. Nothing's permanent, you cannot have the assurance that you get the same rice with the same quality everyday. It has different types. You should learn how to approach different kinds so you would know how to deal with them, so you would not fail. There's a trial and error stage, if you fail when you put less water, failed when you put more water. The next time you cook it, you'll know how to cook it with the right measure of water. There's no reason to give up, just because you failed.

            He answered me with a silence.

            I don’t blame my parents or anyone if we are living in poverty, well, not really. But what freaks me out is the fact that they don’t do anything about it. All they have are words. Just words, that’s what they're good at. I look okay, on the outside but I'm not and that's the truth. Most of my time is spent thinking about what could have been, or what things are like if we are… or what if my mom and dad are… Who knows, they never tried. They gave up already. But who could blame them? They're not mentally and emotionally stable, I can say. They got married at a very young age. What does a 17 y/o girl know about raising a child or cooking or doing household chores or serving her husband? When it is the time when a teenager is starting to have fun and explore herself. Who could blame them? He's the only child; his parents got separated when he was young. Both had gone abroad, each had their own family. He's left with his relatives that only care about the money his father send him. Who could blame them, when there is no one to guide them as they grow up, there is no emotional support. Who could blame them if they only get strength from each other?

            That's why I told myself that I'm not going to be like them. I don't want to blame myself or blame other people because I never tried. I told myself that if ever I will fail it's always worth the try because this is what I wanted all along. I want everyone in this island to know what's happening in real life. In a way that wont scare them, in a way that will make them interested. In a way that they will be in a different world whenever they read my columns

            Writing, music and arts has always been my thing, I can't force myself to love math, I can’t force myself to love medicine, I can't force myself to love history. The same thing with Doctors you can't force them to draw, to dance, to sing, same with lawyers, you can't force them to act (although they are good at it), or to play a guitar. It has always been the interest that motivates a person to excel in everything they do. It's not the money, but the fulfillment. Not the fame but the integrity. Not the salary but the dignity. Not to be known but to be trusted. Not to be sympathize with but to be understood.

            Simple things that my parents don't understand or don't want to understand, I mean who doesn't want to have a better life? Who doesn't want to have a brighter future? It's like "hello? We're in the Philippines!?" A “third world country” It's not as simple as it sounds. In this country they think that if you're successful then you must/should be rich. But for me being successful in the career you want doesn't have to be living in prestige, it’s gotta be more than that. It’s having the peace, fulfillment and happiness that money can’t buy. Being successful means you succeed in reaching your dreams. And don't think that you studied to earn of course it goes along with that. But you studied because you want to have an access to the competitive world. You want to have fun, enjoy your talents.

            So how does this connect with rice? Try cooking some.