indulge while im gone

Fidelity

Not Your Average Girl

I dont sleep, I dream

Beyond the so-called trend in my head about the discovery of great deal in business world, yes, the feeling. I came across this photo of my patring and me kissing him. For awhile, I forgot all about the worries, the economy that starts to either boom or landslide in my face, the petty fight that we had, the spoiled sweetness, the call center applying pressure, my frustrations, insecurity, and all there is between. My world stopped at the view of my brother. Patricio. This is the only time when I can freely kiss that baby and stop chasing him from running and playing everywhere. 

He seems like an angel to me. My escape from all the absurdity of this world. He makes me feel like going back to the times when I am at his age… Time when i dont have problems to take care of, time when I dont have to care about the world and all its shi*ness. Time when I dont have to freaking see if I look ok or mind if Im ready for the world. I miss being a child. The only time I feel that I am is when I bathe in the rain with eyes closed, looking up and letting the rain pour on my face for 5 minutes or whenever I feel like opening my eyes to say hello to the real world.

Economics

Suddenly I got interested in PSE (Philippine Stock Exchange), in Business section of Philippine Star and in Profits, Demands, Auctions etc. Suddenly, I want to read something about how the business goes. Feeling! haha.. I may not be good in math but Im good in analysis and data gathering. Im also a thrift person, patient and uhm well willing to learn the business, thing is I dont have anything to sell or anything to even qualify as a broker. But I am broke though! haha! Kidding.

I remember my eco101- Pag tumataas ang demand, tumataas din ang presyo. Naks. Hehe.. Cmon.. 

Happy jooz!

 Quin and Bette’s day off, and payday yesterday and so we found our feet at paseo. Same spot, but not the same table and without mira.. aww.. *sad.. Hmmn.. We miss mira! The band reminds us of her since she always like to sing whenever we (the last time) go out. Me, Jc, Bette and Jeff, shared the table and the music last night. Naks! Parang partners ah.. hehe..

But this entry wasn’t really for us. Ahuh.. You think you know? You’re starting ti get the idea huh? Haha! Yes. Its about them: 

No not us. Haha.. 

THEM!!! Cmon!!! High five! Check!  

Only, I promised not to blog about it. Tsk tsk.. Spoiler. Let’s wait for bette’s entry! Kiss kiss!! Bette loves everybody!  

Sulat

Quin,

Kiss* Matagal na kitang gustong sulatan, alam mo kasi I'm fond of writing letters, pero I only write what I cant say. Kaya ibig sabihin lang nun, I dont need to write you a letter kasi nasasabi ko naman sayo lahat diba… I had fun waiting for you para sabay tayong mag lunch akala mo ba, bakit naman ako maiinis eh ikaw naman ang hinihintay ko.. Nakakahiya lang talaga at pakiramdam ko istorbo na ko sayo, ayaw ko lang umalis kasi di ka pa nagla-lunch.. Tayo pala.. hehe.. Anyway, I can eat anywhere, pero di ko kayang kumain, knowing na ikaw ay hindi pa kumakain.. 

Gusto ko lang sabihin sayo na mahal kita sobra, salamat at na-aappreciate ko ang lahat ng ginagawa mo para sakin. You always make ordinary things extraordinary. Cards are so, typical. Pero nung binasa ko ang card na galing sayo parang napaka special nung card, not only because it was a late valentine card for a mother's day event and not only because of the interarmed mug, but the effort and the sweetness and the message. It was more than just a card for me. I love you so much…

Sobrang masaya din ako kasi ma-effort ka. Sa totoo lang, wala naman pwedeng masabi ang "ibang tao" (you know who I mean) kasi everything you have right now, eh pinaghirapan mo, yung tiwala ng parents ko.. lahat. Di mo naman yun nakuha agad agad din, pinakita mo na you're worth it. At hindi nila alam yun, ang alam lang nila ay yung nakikita nila, so why mind them diba? Sagutin lang ang mga tanong nila, tapos na… At least we tried to explain ourselves diba? Kahit nakakapagod at nakakasawa na.. 

Happy Mother's day din sa mom mo.. Sayang di ko manlang siya natext.. Pasabi na lang ha..  Hmmn..

Wala na kong masabi.. Mahal kita quin ko… Well, di kita papagpalit sa kahit anong flavor ng starbucks coffee no, syempre magiisip muna ako ng 2 secs pero mas pipiliin pa rin kita. hehe.. Joke lang. Di na pinagiisipan yun, by the way you are more sweeter and more.. you know. addictive than coffee. Hehe.. Parang I wrote something like that on your journal.. Hmmn.. 

I love you Jann Carlo Aquino.. Mwah mwah!!

Ako lang to..

Yam 

Saturday,?

hmmn.. I thought that this day would be smooth, for me, because my dad washed our 2nd batch of clothes, thanks to my monthly period. haha! For quin, in his job.. For us, in the church… Cold war is over between me and eva, although not yet fully. For me it's over. For the P&W team, though our musicians had a hard time on our practice, it was okay.. But then, here comes another test of my TEMPER/Patience, just before the day ends…

If quin, had this "inis" feeling when he heard of "that" from "that person." I dont know how to react really. Because at this point in time when I almost forgot about it, there it comes reminding me of something I threw out of my mind a long time ago and if that affected quin, it affected me the more. It's like her saying "Remember the duck?"

But that made me realize that as a front liner, people(young people in part.) see me as an example, I'm not perfect and I never see myself as a role model. I may not have the control of their opinions, comments or reactions on the way I behaved, the things I've done before, but I have the control on how I'm going to react on it. Honestly, I want to confront her the moment, quin confronted me about it. But I wont because that's not how matured people react on things like that. Most especially when you know in your heart that you have buried it a long time ago.(I deleted him on my friendster as soon as I got home)

I hate myself last year, before I made a personal choice of following God. But the only comfort I have is the fact that Jesus, took away everything and I'll slap that on the face of the devil who tries to remind me of all the things I've done before. I have nothing against her, I still love her the way I did before. Only I have to be careful with her. 

I dont see any reason why it should be an issue, but what hurts me the most is the more I try to prove that I have changed into a person Im completely not.. nah. I expected that anyway, only not from her. But it was okay because I know whom I serve and why I'm doing all these things for. I know that I am not a pleaser, I am a minister. 

I feel a lot better now, saying all the things I cant say to a person just because no matter how much "it" hurt me, I cant do that to her I cant hurt her feelings and I dont want to be un-blessing to her or to anybody. And I dont think that this is backstabbing, because I didnt say anything bad about her. Not a word. Im just blogging this because I dont want to stand up tomorrow with a needle in my heart. Not tomorrow. Not ever.

Marya says:

"Give what you can't get, and it will find its way back to you."

Well, let's see..

I have to make sure, I dont have anything left in my heart towards her because I dont want that to affect tomorrow's p&w and evangelistic night. *sigh*  So help me Lord.

P.S.

 Thanks mahal for the pasalubong.. I appreciate it so much, baka masanay ako.. Hehe.. And I think, they(the people whom I shared it with) appreciated it too! Sorry for keeping you for 30 more mins. I just want to spend more time with you before you go home because I missed you soo.. much. alam mo ba yun? hmm..  Mwah mwah! I love you. 

The Coffee Experience

 Strawberries & Crème Frappuccino +Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino 

 Long before banana days came, Strawberries & Crème Frappuccino  or Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino are my favorite s'bucks drink. I am a certified coffee addict but I will never admit that I buy coffee from starbucks or any other "branded coffee shops" because I dont like to be labeled as pasosyal kuno. Most of my starbucks coffee experience are free thanks to my friends na walang magawa sa pera. hehe.. But for a person as thrift as me, dont expect me to spend too much on that. I know how to control my own vice. 

I love strawberries, before I can go far enough to drop by a starbucks store, we (my choirmates and I) used to buy something like that on frio mix,  it was good but the latter tastes even better. D.C.C.F.  is always sponsored by ate Jane!! Woohoo! (Sweldo na ba?hehe..) 

Iced Caramel Macchiato

Im so loving i.ph

Hehe.. Im loving this blog. Far from the others. Exactly like what I have in mind.. Jc and I had been through a horrible day, it wasn't fair for him, again. But whats important for me is that, things are patched up, shortcomings are met so far, I've realized that I cant stand MYSELF, and I need him. This blog has become more personal than my sintax. Since I am on blog leave there. 

Brain clashing and brain storming. Word doodles, story weaving and character building. Super. I love it. Soooo very Jizzy and Dezzy!! Haha.. It became our expression. Cheesy lovers. Lunatic girlfriend and super boyfriend. Hmmn… lalalala.. means I love you.

Learnings:

1. Say sorry and mean it.

2. Love what you have and embrace it.

3. Learn to like not only those who pleases you.

4. Love what you hate.

5. Smile often.

6. Writing fiction is better than to sit and think of something that can make or break you.

7. No man is an island.

8. We cant have the best of both worlds.

9.  Realization happens when the damage has been done.

10. If all else fail. Love wont. God wont.  

Gifts and Curses

Gifts and curses

 
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Subject

  Quin has always been my favorite subject in photography, Sure I admit  I'm not that good with it but  I call all these  my obra. Hehe..  Been on two months but it feels like 2 years to  me.  Titled  the most controversial couple, who face a lot of relationship issues, trials and difficulties that  we *ehem* victoriously counquered. I guess thats how love works.  We know each other very well , we're open and comfortable talking about anything under the sun. We make meaningful conversations which I love the most since my language of love is Quality time. One compensates the need of the other,  in this two-way, give and take relationship. 

He's not just my boyfriend. We're more than that, he's my bestfriend and partner in everything as well. We make decisions together but we never let that interfere our personal growth. Our perspective especially his becomes more positive everyday and I like that. We have common understanding on things, clash on some but our differences spices up this relationship that's why we dont bore each other. Both artists by heart, we love God and I just love him.

Jc and iki… I miss them both… Aww.. How cute is that? Hmmn..