Emo

Friday, December 22, 2006

Im feeling extremely and exaggerately sensitive today, one simple thought of this and that, or simply hearing a Christmas song that used to make me smile now left me teary-eyed. I dont know why, I've gone through PMS (pre menstrual syndrome) so I cant blame it, oh there's POST MS. right.

 

 It feels strange though coz Im not really an emotional person, I use my head more than my heart. But no matter how tough I look, my core is soft thats why I protect it with a hard shell. And when Im this sensitive, just like a friend told me, "Siguradong may pinanggagalingan yan." when I told her that I feel sad today, thats the word I use when I talked with her. 

 

Yes, there should be an origin, coz I dont like to be called neurotic or something right. I told her that the sadness emanates from deep within that I myself cant figure out. Sure, I'll laugh if I heard something funny, smile if I cant force myself to laugh, and lift the side of my lips if I cant force myself to smile.. But after that, I see myself again staring blankly at my reflection in the mirror. Darn! Look how beautiful I become!lol Now thats a funny one. 

 

I like to pretend Im ok, but I really cant force myself to be plastic, maybe I can fool other people but not myself. I keep on comforting myself by saying, "hush now, God is listening to you, He sees all your sufferings and softened by your cries. He'll answer all your prayers." Then, I'll smile back to my reflection. Its effective though. Maybe I just miss my family, they had been my soft spot lately, you know.

 

All those things that happened and we gone through, made me smile and say, hey, we're well, ok, and complete, what more can I ask for? I love my family second to God, they are important to me. They really are.

 

Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry  Christmas to everyone!!! Dont mind me, I'll be ok soon. =)