Looking Back

Thursday, December 21, 2006

They say that "Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan ay di makararating sa paroroonan" For me, looking back at the past is nonesense, coz it will only make my journey melodramatic, I'll remeber what happened when I was there at blah.. ba ba blah.. And I dont like to be too emotional you know. Im a toughee. Past is past and it should be left behind.

Thats why whenever I look back at the past the first question I ask is "What do I need to learn from this experience?" I think, those memories come back to me coz theres something I needed to learn. Something I need at this very moment and time. Coz you know, I can be hard headed sometimes. I tend to do some things impulsively, so there.

Tonight, I recalled a few past relationships I had. Thats one of the things I dont like to remember, and what it always teaches me is Consistency, I really have a problem with that. Im very unpredictable and that affects my relationships coz Im an introvert, I like doing things alone. And whenever I try to get myself close to anyone, I can do it for just a while but not for long, after a few months I'll go back to the loner and feeling isolated self.

I can get by flirting and cuddling up with someone but I cant go beyond that, say, serious relationship? No. Im not up to that. All of them failed to make me feel secured and who likes the feeling of hanging by a thread? No one. Men go after me *cough* just because they want something out of me. Yeah, my companionship, humor and sweetness. Nothing more.

And besides, I think I deserve someone who sums it all up; someone who can make me feel secured, and at the same time someone far enough to see or be with personally. I dont know about you but thats why Long distance relationship works for me. Coz, I dont want someone I see everyday, please.

If I hurt someone along the way of  finding true happiness with my virtual boyfriend(or not) Im sorry, I really am. Just that I hate the feeling of expecting something and  nothing at the same time. Im tired of it, really tired of  it. 

Wish List

Hmm.. Its almost Christmas time and almost everybody if not all have their own wish list so, I thought of having one just to have one.haha.. So here it is my Christmas Wish List: Note: (+) is for I already got it.

1. Have someone special. (+) although im not really sure if its for real or just a pseudo type but anyway, I dont like to complain for now. I love to have him.

2.  My mom's health to be her best again and her operation to be over with positive result and speedy recovery.

3.  Peace and Joy all over the world.

4. Have tons of good movies to watch before and on Christmas coz Im planning to stay home all day long.

5. My family's joy and prosperity.

 

Nah. I'll stop this whole wishing thing because I know even before I say my wish to God I prayed and believed that I already got them, so what's the use of writing it all down right? And Christmas isnt just about gifts, money, and all those material stuffs but it is a celebration of Jesus' birth.

Ok, some say that it is not the "real" birthday of Jesus, I think so too, but hey they themselves can't tell when is Jesus birthday so might as well asume that His birthday is December 25. Anyway, the spirit of Christmas is remembering and recognizing the birth of Christ our King right? So, Im not complaining.

 Im eternally grateful for the goodness of God for giving His Son to redeem us from our sins, sickness etc. Im very thankful that if it wasnt for Him, by now Im still lost. I found myself in Jesus, thats why I praise and honor His name not only during Christmas but in everyday of my life.

I guess Christmas is everyday if you want to by the way the Occasion's not yours its Jesus' =)

 

6. I wish everyone will be happy this Christmas!!!!